Amma In My Life

I came to know about Amma from a friend of mine, in 1986. The same night, I saw Amma in my dream. That isn’t all.

Walking along with the other Sakthis, I went and bowed in front of Amma. Then, our Guru Amma, smiling very kindly, nodded His head and called me. Near Amma, on the Suyampu, there was a serpent dancing! Seeing the serpent, I was hesitant to move forward. Seeing this, Amma said, “Come nearer.” I woke up from my dream. This was my first experience. I told a Thonder at Maruvathur about my dream. He said, “I come to Mel Maruvathur every year. Every day, I pray to Amma and bow at Her feet. I haven’t got darshan ever, in my dream. You are very fortunate! Amma appeared in your dream, the very same day you came to know about Amma. This is Amma’s miracle!”

However, neither he had told me, nor did I know that it was an invitation to me from the Divine Mother.

I hadn’t gone to Mel Maruvathur, but I worshipped Amma every day, in my house. It was the year 1988. Sakthis from Selam Sakthi Peetam had brought Amma’s statue at that time. A staunch devotee of Amma lived near my house. I was teaching their children. One day, his wife told me that Amma’s statue was being brought and that they were going to perform Abhishekam. She told me to go with them. I was lucky enough to do Abhishekam and Neem Leaf Decoration (Veppilai Kappu). From that day, I began to go to the Sakthi Peetam regularly and take part in the worship and thondu (service). That year, for the first time, I went to the temple with Irumudi. As soon as I reached the Temple, I got darshan of both the Divine Mother and Adigalaar Amma, very well. I was very happy. I had several experiences. Once, I had severe fever. Medicines did not have any effect. The doctors doubted whether I would live! My mother would stand in front of Amma’s photo and cry. I could see my mother struggling to remain calm. The reason was that my memory was fading! I felt that death was imminent. Slowly, I lost consciousness. The day my mother was praying and begging Amma to bring me back to life, Amma again appeared in my dream! This is what I saw in my dream.

The place looked like a Mandram. There were many Sakthis. All were dressed in red clothes. Only I was standing inside the Mandram. I heard someone saying, “Durga is coming! Durga is coming!” I looked back. Avatara Purushan (the Incarnated Person or Individual) Adigalaar Amma entered the Mandram. I was wondering why, instead of Durga, Amma came. Immediately, Amma’s figure disappeared! In that place, I could see Annai Adi Parasakthi Herself! She had the trident in Her hand. She was shining as the sun does. I got Amma’s darshan. She lighted a lamp and looked at me. I immediately said, “Mother! Mother! Is that You? Is it for me that You came here?” Saying this, I fell at Her feet and cried. Divine Mother kept Her hand on my head. When I raised my head, I didn’t see the Divine Mother! It was Her Son, Our Adigalaar Amma, who was standing there! Amma told me a medicine for my illness and then, disappeared. I, too, woke up. I was surprised to see that I was living. I felt happy as well. I didn’t know if it was a dream, or indeed reality. I woke my mother up and told her about my dream. At once, my mother said, “Om Sakthi! Om Sakthi! Mother! My daughter escaped death. She is alive! Your mercy is limitless!”

I would sometimes think that Adigalaar Amma is Divine Mother Herself, but I was foolish enough not to accept this. That must be the reason why Divine Mother gave me darshan as Guru Amma, first. Then, She appeared as Divine Mother. Again, She appeared as Adigalaar Amma, in order to convince me that She and Her Son are not different from each other. When I think about that, I forget myself and wonder how lucky I am. From that day, I began to see Annai in Adigalaar Amma.

Even when we have full faith that God is with us and there is nothing to fear, we are subjected to sufferings, because of the sins we have done in the past. Two years ago, I found a very small tumour above my left ear. Slowly, it began to grow and caused severe pain. When it became unbearable, I visited a doctor. When I was taking the medicine, I felt better, but when I stopped the medicine, the pain would start as if it would take away my life. The doctor said that, if the x-ray showed that it was a tumour, I would have to undergo an operation. I was afraid and prayed to Amma. I lighted the lamp in front of Amma’s photo and recited Guru Potri fifty four times. The whole day, I sat in front of Amma and slowly fell asleep. I saw a dream. I saw that I was walking with school girls in a place, which looked like a forest. After a while, I saw a platform. Suddenly, a lion came running in our direction. All of us ran, crying, “Lion! Lion!” I was saying, “Om Sakthi! Om Sakthi!” The lion was coming towards me. Because of fear, I lay on the ground and closed my eyes, saying, “Om Sakthi!” Coming closer to me, the lion slowly rubbed its tongue above my left ear and went back!

In the morning, after worshipping Amma, remembering the dream I had, I slowly touched above my left ear. I didn’t feel any pain! I pressed the portion. Still, there was no pain! The tumour had disappeared! I felt relieved. I shed tears of joy.

Once, a family known to me borrowed more than a lakh of rupees from a person. I signed as a guarantor. But, they cheated me and went away! They left our locality. When the person couldn’t find them, he came to me. I was shocked! Where would I go to get such a huge amount of money? Is this the result of trying to help someone? I was extremely worried. When they began to pressurise me, I thought it would be better to commit suicide! A devotee of Amma met me one day. He told me that I should go to Amma and perform Paada Pooja. Amma would certainly find a solution. I went to the Temple and got Amma’s darshan. I fell at Amma’s feet and said that, only Amma can decide whether I should live or not. Our Spiritual Guru told me not to worry. Amma said that, She is always with me and that good things will happen soon. Amma’s words consoled me. I felt relieved. I came back home.


Beyond anyone’s imagination, many people came forward unexpectedly to help me. I paid back someone else’s debt! It is amazing that when I was able to pay back the money, which these people had given me, they refused to accept it! They said that, they were happy that they could help me in my time of need. I wondered if such things can really happen! If I hadn’t gone to Amma that day, I wouldn’t have been alive today! I shall not forget Amma in this birth, or in my future births!

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