The Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi
‘Amma’, ‘Adi Parasakthi’, ‘Maruvoor Aandaal (God)’, ‘Maruvathur Amma’, and ‘Adigalaar Amma’; these are only some of the names, by which we know God, who incarnated in a small village in south India. This village, now a thriving town, is called Mel Maruvathur. A two hour journey by taxi from Chennai Airport, Mel Maruvathur is the residence of Arulthiru Bangaaru Adigalaar, who is the Divine Mother, Adi Parasakthi.
When God wrought Creation, God appointed several agencies or demi-gods to regulate various spheres of Creation. For each of these demi-gods, a human being, who had attained Supreme Wisdom, Enlightenment, and Absolute Freedom – Moksha, Liberation, and Salvation, was appointed as a spiritual advisor, somewhat akin to a moral compass. These human beings are called Siddhas, the greatest of Rishis (Saints). Throughout the ages, these demi-gods and their Siddhas have guided and guarded humanity. Unfortunately, in the Dark Age – the Kali Age, mankind’s ego has taken prominence over faith and morality. The demi-gods and the Siddhas find themselves unable to completely stem the rising tide of destruction, death, cruelty, immorality, and degradation of human values, viz. love, truth, righteous conduct, peace, and non-violence. In order to save the world and guide humanity back to the path of spiritual enquiry and faith in the Divine, the Chief of the Siddhas and the demi-gods decided to descend onto Earth and take charge of the situation.
God descended in the Feminine aspect, as the Empress of the Universe, the Divine Mother, Adi Parasakthi, Chief of the Siddhas and the demi-gods, God on Earth. Assuming the form of Her Son, Arulthiru Bangaaru Adigalaar, the Divine Mother protects, guides, blesses, and loves Her children. Adigalaar Amma is Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi. Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi is Adigalaar Amma. To us, Adigalaar Amma is God. Amma is one of God’s many manifestations on Earth, in this Kali Age. Amma is kindness, love, bliss, and compassion incarnate. Amma teaches us that we must live together, love one another, and be kind to each other. Most importantly, we must lead our lives in such a manner, that our focus is constantly on the spiritual road to God. Amma teaches us that, while we must discharge our dharma – duty, we must continuously contemplate on God and inquire within us as to who we truly are. This is the best way to live life.
We, at Angel Grove Studio, are blessed, honoured, and privileged to have experienced Amma’s Divinity ourselves. While a person would say, “I believe in God,” we are proud and honoured to say, “We know, see, speak to, and love God!”
Amma saved my life. If it wasn’t for the Divine Mother, I would no longer be among the living! On 24th February, 2011, at the time of the writing of this article, it has been three years since Amma rescued me from death, gave my life direction and purpose, and set me on the spiritual path towards God. As to the circumstances that almost took away my life, I shall simply state that I was ignorant of my purpose in life and was, consequently, disillusioned with it. While I was in the doldrums, my mother conveyed her desire to us, to go to Mel Maruvathur and perform Irumudi Abhishekam. Due to his ill health, my father told her that he could not go to Mel Maruvathur. My mother was obviously disappointed to hear this. At the time, and even now, I am well known for not socialising with anyone and refraining from any sort of long-distance journey. Knowing this, my mother couldn’t find any other alternative. However, her disappointment and sadness didn’t last long, for God decided to step into my life!
A day after my mother expressed her desire to go to Mel Maruvathur, I was sitting, as usual, in front of the computer and working on something. There are three, large, framed photos that have been hung on the wall adjacent to the computer. The photo in the middle is a portrait of Goddess Sarasvati and the two photos, on either side of it, are portraits of Bhagawan Sai Baba at Shirdi. In the afternoon, my mother once again expressed her desire to go to Mel Maruvathur. I told her that I would not go with anyone, anywhere. She left the room and returned to the kitchen, while I turned my attention to the computer, once again.
Suddenly, my eyes fixed their gaze on Goddess Sarasvati’s portrait. I was unable to avert my gaze from Her picture. A single thought swirled in my head, “Go to Mel Maruvathur with mother.” The thought repeated itself several times. As my mind fought against the thought, citing reasons like ‘travelling will be a lot of trouble’ and ‘staying with parents will result in hassles’, my body shook and my heart beat fast! I felt, instinctively (as I thought then, but now I know it to have been my conscience – aka God), that I could not resist the thought and that it would be best for me to accompany my mother. My heart insisted that it was a Divine command, although, then, I had no way of confirming that. Partly in obedience, and partly in order to stop my body’s spontaneous quivering, I called my mother and told her that I would go with her to Mel Maruvathur. Within a moment’s time, my body stopped shaking and my heart beats returned to normal! That evening, or perhaps the next day, my father told us that he would be accompanying us as well. Thus, the entire family, with the exception of my brother, who was working abroad, went to Mel Maruvathur. Amma had called us and this became obvious soon enough.
We departed for Mel Maruvathur after a month’s time. Since railway tickets need to be booked in advance (Previously, booking had to be done thirty days in advance. The duration was then changed to sixty days. Now, at the time of the writing of this article, it is ninety days.), it was quite difficult to get tickets at the last minute. This delayed our departure by a month. Once we reached Mel Maruvathur, my mother and father got ready for Irumudi Abhishekam. As I had been raised in a primarily Western environment, I had never been exposed much to walking bare-foot, performing poojas with various powders and offerings, and participating in other rituals. Consequently, I was not very keen on accompanying them. My spirits, which were already low at the time, were dampened further. This, coupled with some other ‘inconveniences,’ made me dislike the journey. I didn’t want to remain in Mel Maruvathur. It reminded me of other pilgrimages we had made and I hadn’t liked those either. I had never understood the value of these trips, especially the latest one to Mel Maruvathur, and I simply wanted to go home and be left alone.
As I had no other choice in the matter, I quietly accompanied my parents and finished the Irumudi Abhishekam. We performed two Paada Poojas (worship of the Divine Feet) to Amma, one prior to performing Irumudi Abhishekam and one after. My attachment (in my mind) to Adigalaar Amma had been next to nil. I respected Arulthiru Bangaaru Adigalaar, because my parents said He was worthy of worship and devotion. I loved the Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi, due to my closer attachment to Mata Amritanandamayi Devi and, to some extent at the time, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. I knew nothing about Adigalaar Amma and I had never bothered to ask my mother much about Him. I was fully ignorant of spiritual affairs of any kind, save the little I had learnt from reading Ammachi’s (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi) books. On the other hand, the God in me – my conscience – knew Adigalaar Amma very well. After the Irumudi and the two Paada Poojas, where I accompanied my parents, I decided to perform a Paada Pooja by myself.
Accordingly, I went to the Mel Maruvathur Temple and sat in the Paada Pooja queue. The Irumudi Abhishekam and the earlier two Paada Poojas had lifted my spirits, considerably. I wasn’t in the doldrums anymore, but my mind still blocked out God’s Grace and Divine Light with its pointless drivel. I entered the room, where Paada Pooja is performed, and handed the pooja plate to Sakthi Veera Raghavan, who performs the Paada Pooja for devotees. I knelt in front of Adigalaar, bowed before Him, and started to raise my head. Suddenly, Adigalaar’s voice boomed like thunder! I do not know, if Sakthi Veera Raghavan or those outside the Paada Pooja room heard Him the way I did, but Adigalaar’s voice matched my concept of God talking to Moses, on Mount Sinai!
I must confess my love for the Exodus, the story of God and Moses, through whom God liberated the Hebrews from the bondage of Egypt. I had always played out that scene, where God instructs Moses to go to Egypt and free His people, several times in my mind. I imagined God speaking to me in a similar fashion and how His voice would sound. Now, I heard it and my mind bent in submission. Its thoughts vanished instantly; I reiterate, instantly! Adigalaar Amma’s voice echoed, at least for me, throughout the pooja room and even inside me!
Amma said, “Attend Thaipoosa Jyoti and everything will be all right! GO!”
I have capitalised the word ‘go’ in that dialogue, for, in my heart, it matched the force and the manner, in which God ordered Moses to ‘go’, when Moses expressed his doubt about God’s plan to make Moses His messenger. I state, here and now, that this was the beginning of a new relationship, between God and me. I had met God. God had spoken to me. The thrill of the realisation was incredible! I had heard the Lord, who spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai! The feeling was and still is indescribable.
Truly, bliss is something to be experienced.
It cannot be explained. As I raised my head to look at Adigalaar Amma, before taking His leave, my eyes met His. My knowledge and experience is insufficient to describe the Truth, but I shall tell you what I saw. Amma’s eyes were jet black, like the infinite expanse of space! There, in the centre of that infinite expanse, was a bright, white star! I was kneeling one or two paces away from Amma. As I rose, with my vision fixed on those shining Divine eyes, I distinctly felt that it was not Adigalaar, a man, who sat in that chair. It was God indeed, but God unlike I had pictured God! My mind pictured, albeit faintly, a crown, a sari, a throne, and much else. As I left the paada pooja room, I felt that I was leaving a royal court. Indeed, it is a Divine court! A court, where God sits regally as the Empress of the Universe!
To many, the sight of Amma conveys an image of humility, simplicity, and compassion. It conveys the image of a great man, a Sadguru, who is God incarnate. To me, it is a very different picture, although I did not realise it at the time. My faith in Amma, as God, was not firm enough even after this experience. My mind had not grasped the concept of ‘One God, Many Faces’. It had not experienced the Truth of the concept. Therefore, it took several more experiences and Divine blessings, for me to fully understand that God is present in many places, in many times, and in many forms.
According to Amma’s instructions, I went with my mother to see the Thaipoosa Jyoti and came back. Although I did not sense the huge differences that had occurred in my life, I knew that my depression had gone away.
After a few weeks, one early morning, Amma appeared in my dream and said, “Chant Gayatri Mantra one lakh times (1,00,000 or 100,000) in one year and I shall grant you Amma’s darshan.”
Although Amma had told me this in January, or a few weeks before that, I did not start chanting the Gayatri Mantra until February. Once I started chanting, however, Amma granted me Her darshan several times! As I approached the end of this sadhana (spiritual practice), my mind had detached itself from most things in the material world. I wanted no connections to luxury, high positions, wealth, and people. I began to consider taking up an austere life and at this juncture, the time came nigh for me to find a job. I worked in a multi-national company for three months, but I disliked the passion and the race to earn higher profits, the cold, corporate environment, and the desire for pleasure and riches in general. My mind was (and still is) focused on reaching and staying with God, by hook or by crook. I left the job and quite obviously, my family members weren’t exactly thrilled. My mother kept insisting that I find another job.
One evening, I was reading one of Bhagawan Sri Satya Sai Baba’s books and I shed tears, wondering how I could settle down near God. At this time, Bhagawan Sri Satya Sai Baba came in my dream, as my attachment to our beloved Adigalaar Amma hadn’t grown as strong, yet.
The Lord, as Sri Satya Sai Baba, said, “Come to Puttaparthi. Everything will be all right.”
*My experiences with Bhagawan Sri Satya Sai Baba are chronicled in the Sairam section, separately. Please go through that article at your convenience. Now, I shall skip directly to the time, when I returned home from Puttaparthi.*
Once I returned from the Lord’s ashram (hermitage; although Prashanti Nilayam is a town by itself), as per my father’s directions, I joined a few courses to become certified in 3D animation. Months passed and I acquired three certifications simultaneously, by God’s grace. I joined an animation company as a junior faculty member, but my mind wanted nothing to do with modern corporations. I was drawn to God and God had very different plans for me. I could not mingle with the people at work. This, coupled with my negative quality (laziness), resulted in my leaving the new job in just three weeks! Once again, my family members were rather unhappy. They could not understand what was going on and, truth be told, I did not share anything with them.
At this time, my brother returned home and decided to go to Mel Maruvathur. He wanted to see Adigalaar Amma and I decided to accompany him. My intention was to ask Adigalaar Amma, if I could stay with Her at Mel Maruvathur. When we reached Mel Maruvathur and performed Paada Pooja, even before I could pose my question to Her,
Amma said, “Work hard and earn a good name!”
The day before we left for Mel Maruvathur, I had attended an interview at a language training institute. I had informed the institute that I would be going to Mel Maruvathur and that I would be available only after my return. Upon returning from Mel Maruvathur, the very next day, I was called by the institute and asked to accept a position as a ‘freelance trainer’. I worked in the institute for an year, on contract basis, and went to Mel Maruvathur with my mother. My desire for Moksha – Liberation, Salvation – had not changed. In fact, it was stronger than before. I liked the new job and the people did not disturb me in anyway, but my desire to be with God took (and still takes) top priority. I wanted to ask Amma for the ultimate gift, the goal of every human life – Moksha.
We had departed for Mel Maruvathur, with the intention of performing Irumudi Abhishekam. Events transpired in such a fashion that only my mother performed Irumudi Abhishekam. I could not perform it, as I missed the Paada Pooja, where Amma places the Sakthimalai around the devotees’ necks. The next day, when we were scheduled to depart for Chennai, I decided to perform a Paada Pooja. I did not want to leave Mel Maruvathur, without seeing Amma, Irumudi or no Irumudi. Accompanied by my mother, I entered the Paada Pooja room and waited for my mother to bow before Amma.
After bowing before the Divine Mother, when I went near Her, Amma looked straight at me and said, “Study hard. Come to Tamil Nadu, buy a house, and work in a good position. Do service to Amma. Amma will take care of your Aanmeekam (spirituality)!”
While Amma ordered me thus, simultaneously, my mother heard Her say, “Take part in the Chitra Pournami Velvi! I have kept a Tirisoola Yaaga Kundam (a yagna altar in the shape of a trident) for you!”
Apparently, I missed this order from the Divine Mother, as my fluency in Tamil is not good.
As per Amma’s instructions, my mother and I performed the Chitra Pournami Velvi (yagna). That evening, while my mother and I were walking outside the Temple, a Sakthi walked up to me and said, “Did you perform the Velvi well?” I replied or rather nodded in affirmative. Then, the Sakthi smiled and said, “Good! Amma shall take care of the rest!” Having said this, the Sakthi continued walking and we lost sight of him in the crowd. The readers must note here, as an extremely important fact, that we had never… I reiterate, never… laid eyes on that Sakthi before! We had not seen him prior to that meeting and we never saw him again. I distinctly remember that face. It was a kindly, good natured face. The person wore glasses and had dark hair. He was of my height and build. I can never forget him and am certain that, if I see him again, I can pick him out of a crowd. Yet, I have never seen him in Mel Maruvathur, ever! Amma blessed us that day and assured us that She was in charge of our lives.
In accordance with Amma’s instructions, my mother and I decided to translate the Tamil editions of Sakthi Olhi into English. Thus, Angel Grove Studio was born. The name, itself, originated from another idea that I had tried to implement, as a young teenager. Now, Amma blessed us with this opportunity to serve Her.
To me, Adigalaar Amma is God, the Creator, the Preserver, and the Destroyer, who has incarnated in the Female aspect, as the Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi. There is no point in seeing Amma and Adigalaar as different people. They are the same. When I bow before Adigalaar, I bow before Her Highness. Arulthiru Adigalaar Amma is the Divine Mother. The Empress blesses all and they see Her as Adigalaar. The human form is necessary, for us to see Her. We cannot, without a pure mind and the conquest of the senses, behold Her in Her full splendour and glory. Amma comes as Bangaaru Adigalaar for our sake. She lives a human life for our sake. She suffers the results of our sins, for us, for our sake. Amma is the God within us. Amma is the God, who owns our hearts and souls. Amma is the God, who gives us this body, with which we must reach the shores of Liberation. Amma is the One, who assumes many forms and many faces. All religions and all faiths come to the Divine Mother, in the end.
Amma has blessed me with several experiences and guides me on the spiritual path. My life has changed completely, thanks to Her. I am Hers. I have written this introduction from a personal perspective, for general information about the Divine Mother is readily available from other websites and books. I hope this personal introduction to the Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi, Arulthiru Bangaaru Adigalaar, Amma, will help other spiritual aspirants and seekers to reach Her Divine Feet. Let all of life, in all the worlds, live in peace.
Guruvadi Sharanam, Thiruvadi Sharanam.
Om Sakthi Ammave, Sharanam Amma.
Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu.
Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu.
Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
*We, at Angel Grove Studio, would like to remind you, our dearest readers, that this article has been written by Jaidev Kesavan, based on his experiences with the Divine. We encourage everyone, true spiritual seekers and the curious alike, to go to Arulthiru Bangaaru Adigalaar, Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi and seek their own experiences. Spirituality is a very personal experience and is, thus, better experienced than merely heard. Kindly note, that the author has omitted some of his deeper and more personal experiences with the Divine. This is due to the fact that the author considers these experiences very private. We, once again, encourage you to seek out your own experience of God. The Divine Mother Adi Parasakthi, Arulthiru Adigalaar Amma welcomes one and all, irrespective of caste, creed, religion, or nationality. Please take advantage of this opportunity, for we live in a Golden Age, when God walks the Earth.*